I received my Bachelor of Arts in Literature and Philosophy from Michigan State University in 1990. During that time, to make some extra money, I took a job at a local daycare center. I was an assistant teacher, so I went back and forth between the different rooms. It didn’t take long to get to know every child at the center, ages infant to five years old. Being with children all day, everyday, gives a much fuller perspective than any other interaction you can have with children.You become acutely familiar with the emotional and cognitive ecosystem, so to speak, of each child. I am deeply grateful to have been a part of so many children’s lives during their formative years. It was also my good fortune to get to know all the parents, because it was plain to see the profound influence parenting style has on the characteristics of a child. That proved an invaluable resource when soon after I was married and started a family.
My wife and I had a strong idea of how we wanted to go about parenting. It was just a matter of solidifying a plan. In the area of learning, one thing is certain. You cannot teach ability. You can teach information, but ability is something altogether different. Try teaching kindness, for example. Or patience, or courage. You can’t. These things aren’t made up of information. You are less of a teacher and more a guide in these matters. Your child becomes these things. She learns her ABC’s, but she becomes patient. The same holds true for learning ability. There’s no magic set of words that is going to make the difference. You have to be a good guide.
Fortunately, you have an extraordinary resource on your side: search high and wide all the days long and you will not find a better resource than playtime to guide and strengthen your child’s ability to learn. Specific strategies on what to do with this resource are contained in the Kids’ Learning Strategies section of this site. Because playtime is activity based, you’ll need great activities, and lots of them—so there’s a Kids’ Learning Activities section provided as well. Lastly, because parents wear down, there’s a Parenting Strategies section that offers ideas on how to conserve your energy. Other sections are forthcoming and will also aim—directly or indirectly— toward strengthening your child’s ability to learn.
Why focus at all on learning ability? Certainly, you should put your child’s basic needs first. You know what those are. Now clear everything else away and ask yourself—what does your child love? Sure as the sun is bright, we’re back to playtime. Your child loves to play. The best part about playing, the part that makes it fun, the reason your child loves it, is because she’s learning. She’s advancing her skills and understanding, and that’s fundamentally rewarding. So it’s no stretch to say that, from your child’s perspective, learning is the best part about playing. As evidence, just give your child something to play with that’s beneath her skill level. What will happen? She’ll be bored in an instant. She won’t want to play. Why? Because there’s nothing to learn. So now if you clear all the rubble away and ask, what does your child love?—The answer is: your child loves to learn.
Your child is 10x more capable than you think. If you guide her love of learning with energy and patience, her learning ability will emerge as a potent lifelong skill. It will enrich all those areas of her life where it might prove useful to have confidence in her own ability to assess and arrange meaning. It will benefit her anytime it might prove useful to be her own source of motivation, because she’s inherently curious, patient, committed and capable. She’ll surprise you in ways you never expected and pass you up in more ways than you can count. (That’s a thousand times more valuable than hovering over her with all the correct information!) I remember one time when our son was seven or eight years old, I was changing a light bulb in his ceiling fan (one of four was burned out). He was at his desk working on origami. I told him I needed to turn the lights off for a minute. When I finished replacing the bulb, I turned his lights back on and said, ‘There you go, pal—25% more light!’ A few seconds later he said, ‘1/3 more light.’ ‘How do you figure?’ I asked. He turned around and offered the following: ‘There were three bulbs working when you started,’ he said. ‘That’s three thirds. You added one bulb to make four thirds. That’s 1/3 more light.’
-Anthony Vecchioni
avecchioni@spaghettiboxkids.com
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18 responses so far ↓
1 John // Jul 11, 2008 at 2:24 am
Anthony- great site, clean crisp and informative…just enough dialogue, you don’t get lost…..good luck with it
2 Anthony // Jul 14, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Thanks for the feedback. Site is still under construction. I’m looking very forward to launching it in a month or so. . .
3 Traci // Sep 2, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Great Job! Really clarifies where your son gains his inspirations!!
4 Sarah // Sep 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Very nice parenting site! The “about” page gives a good overview and offers useful information on how to navigate the contents. Your articles are really inspirational. I’ve turned the t.v. off almost entirely and am spending more activity time with my daughter.
5 Anthony // Sep 15, 2008 at 1:57 am
Wow! I’m glad to hear that. I know it’s more effort not sticking your child in front of the television. It really does take more courage, energy and patience, but the difference in a child’s attention span and ability to focus is dramatic. When our son was born, we put the t.v. into storage. When he was around 7 or 8, we brought it out to watch family videos on Friday nights. What did we do every night for all those years? Probably the same thing you’re doing now—reading, coloring, playing cards, floor games, blocks, puzzles, marbles, magnets, paper airplanes, cars, puppets, charades, theater and lots of outdoor play. I can’t begin to tell you how rewarding this approach to parenting turned out to be. Anyway, thanks for the kind words. Best of luck!
6 Dave // Sep 26, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I’m very impressed with the quality of your articles and the web site overall. It’s definitely not a cookie cutter site like much of what you see today. Keep up the great work.
7 Henry // Dec 14, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Hi there,
I like the clean way you present your articles, very easy to follow and understand. Nicely done.
I really like the info you have, I relate to all of if since I am a father of two boys myself.
Keep plugging away!
Henry
spanishto-go.com
8 Darren Tan // Jan 15, 2009 at 10:28 am
It’s really great to know your blog. Parents and kids will definitely love it.
Might consider to include posts regarding children with learning disability. Maybe dyslexia, stammer…
Keep up the great work! :-D
9 Anthony // Jan 15, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Thanks for the feedback. I have the utmost respect for parents raising a child with a learning disability. I vaguely remember going to our school’s speech therapist when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, back when schools were sufficiently funded. Overall, however, it’s not my area, and I don’t consider myself qualified to provide specific procedures or strategies. The Child Development Institute (online) is a good reference center. Also, I’ve heard nothing but praise for the book: Helping Children Overcome Learning Difficulties: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents and Teachers. Beyond that, I think my strategies and activities are widely applicable–especially where attention and ability to focus are concerned–but it’s up to each parent to decide what is suitable for their child’s specific learning challenges.
10 Darren Tan // Jan 15, 2009 at 4:16 pm
You’re welcome Anthony, it’s very rare to come across such blog and have my comment replied so sincerely.
Thanks for the advice above on children with learning disabilities, it’s like a wikipedia for children born with certain impairments.
I have also subcribed to your blog. :-)
Keep up the great work, Anthony!
11 Anthony // Feb 4, 2009 at 2:54 pm
You’re welcome. Best of Luck!
12 anicam // Feb 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Your site it is great and easy to navigate. While your writing structure is awesome, I really love it.
KEEP IT UP
13 Anthony // Feb 11, 2009 at 3:44 am
Thank you for the kind words. It wouldn’t be the same without all the great support and comments from readers.
14 celticmusicfan // Jul 21, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I love this site. It’s clean, easy to navigate and very helpful. I would recommend it to people who work at daycare centers. The same also to parents who are finding ways to raise kids in a creative, fun way.
15 Anthony // Jul 21, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Thanks for the thoughtful comments. I try to keep it easy to navigate. It’s not always so simple because new ideas are always cropping up, and they have to be incorporated somehow. But I think the most important thing, besides solid, useful content is the ability for readers to maneuver easily.
16 Meam Wye // Nov 29, 2009 at 9:59 am
Anthony, your blog is above average in terms of quality of content (creativity, writing-style, uniqueness and wisdom) as well as presentation. I’m impressed! It’s definitely a valuable resource for anyone who is caring and responsible about kids.
17 Anthony // Nov 29, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Thanks for the input. I’m glad you enjoy the content. All the best– AV
18 Parenting – Making a Schedule | Better Parents // Mar 19, 2010 at 3:30 am
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