If you’re trying to whip up excitement, you’re over-shooting the mark. Keep things simple. How interested do you think your child is going to be in a classroom if she’s in the habit of super-charging her emotions with stylish gadgetry? Not very. Give her things to do that stimulate her curiosity, not her emotions.

Counting beans, for example, is a great activity to do with your toddler. It offers significant conceptual building skills, and it’s easy on the parent because you get to sit on the floor and more or less relax. It invites your child’s input in determining outcomes, and it is open-ended with unlimited possibilities.

The wonder of counting beans cannot be achieved through an electronic device. If just learning to count were the objective, then the electronic device would be equal to the task. But one activity advances learning skills, while the other advances learning information. One is based in the real world with real things being moved, weighed and grouped. The other is not. One offers the relation of objects to gravity. The other does not. One can be deposited in a jar to displace a quantifiable measure of water. The other cannot. One appeals accurately to the senses. The other does not. One can be exchanged for macaroni, pebbles, marbles, twigs. The other cannot. One can be glued to paper and painted and hung on the wall. The other cannot. The point is that the best toys and activities—the ones that build solid learning skills—are usually the simplest in nature.

Should you avoid making an electronic gadget available to your child under any circumstances? No, that’s not the case. Just be aware of trends and habits that develop. Down to earth educational toys and activities will be enjoyable for your child if they are the norm. If watching television and playing electronic games are the norm, then skill building activities will seem like work.

Related material (NPR audio): Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills

The single most important thing about playtime is that it’s fun. When your child is having fun, her interest level is at a maximum.

You buy certain toys for your child and she doesn’t want to play with them. Here are some thoughts on that. First of all, your child isn’t going to like every toy. Some are just too difficult, and others are just too trivial. So be aware of age appropriate toys. The good ones your child will love and want to play with over and over. Why is that? The answer to that question will help guide your strategy about toys in general.

Your child plays with her favorite toy over and over because it generates activity. So from your perspective the challenge is to shift your thinking toward activities. Your five year old probably isn’t going to play much with the horn you bought her, no matter how much it cost, what color it is, etc. It’s most likely going to sit in the closet. But if you give her the horn, and you use a stick for a flute, and you pretend you’re in a parade that’s marching through the house, you’ll have an activity she’ll want to do again and again. The question is, will you want to do it again and again?

Here’s the point: stop thinking about great toys and start thinking about great activities. Playing with blocks is an activity. Playing with dolls is an activity. Counting beans is an activity. Coloring is an activity. Play acting is an activity. Making a tent with sheets is an activity. Marbles is an activity. Making puppets is an activity. Telling stories is an activity. Reading is an activity.

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