I recently read a short story by William Saroyan, The Fifty Yard Dash (first published in 1937), that reminds me of how over-rated the idea of confidence is. The main character, twelve year old Aram, sees the chance to prove his greatness when his school announces that a track meet will be held, one school against another–all students to participate.
Here, I believed, was my chance. In my opinion I would be first in every event.1
Leading up to the event Aram imagines himself winning all of the events, not once, but hundreds of times. You would think the act of imagining success would serve to reinforce Aram’s confidence. Possibly it does, but in the end it makes no difference. Despite the fact that in the beginning of the first event, the fifty yard dash, Aram believes himself to be moving at an extraordinary rate, when he opens his eyes there are three boys ahead of him. As the race progresses, regardless of what Aram intends to happen, his position only worsens. He ends up finishing last, and faces much the same result in all the other events. What happened?
The author does a wonderful job demonstrating that all the confidence in the world is no substitute for practice. It really doesn’t matter what Aram thinks or believes. He didn’t practice.
I think diminishing the idea of confidence is an excellent lesson for parents. If we want our child to perform better in an area–say, mathematics for example, then we need to spend more time with our child on math games and exercises. Of course, it’s easier to try to instill a sense of confidence in our a child–the old “pep talk” comes to mind. On the other hand, it requires effort to set up activities and exercises to help our child to strengthen a skill set. It might require changing our habits, turning off the television, missing a few emails. But in the end, our habits, our routine–the environment that we create for our kids–is immeasurably more valuable than a confidence booster now and then.
After all, confidence isn’t a catalyst–it’s a result.
1. Saroyan, William. “The Fifty Yard Dash.” My Name is Aram. New York: Dell, 1967. Pg 51.
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8 responses so far ↓
1 rosebelle // Nov 29, 2009 at 5:26 am
With anything that we wish to improve on or accomplish, effort and action are important. It takes hard work and discipline. In any subjects that my kids aren’t doing well, I look at various methods to improve their skill sets such as tutoring or reviewing their homework. Your blog is great because it offers great ideas for me try with my kids.
2 Anthony // Nov 29, 2009 at 6:56 am
I agree. Hard work and discipline are what make the difference. Of course, as parents if we can make the activities fun, all the better.
3 Dan // Nov 29, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Good point, boosting confidence is no substitute for putting in the time. The big “pep talk” doesn’t cut it.
Dan from Pittsburgh
4 Anthony // Nov 29, 2009 at 5:26 pm
No, it’s a pretty weak approach when you think about it. Daily routine, habit, what happens in the hours after dinner and before bedtime–that’s where skills are developed.
5 Catherine // Nov 29, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I agree, practise and preparation are what’s important and what children need help with. I guess the pep talk should be “Have you practised? Yes Are you prepared? Yes Then you’re going to be amazing.”
6 Anthony // Nov 29, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I wouldn’t disagree with that. The pep talk may be useful as a compliment, once the real effort has been established.
7 Melissa // Jan 2, 2010 at 11:29 pm
I love it: “…it requires effort to set up activities and exercises to help our child to strengthen a skill set.” That’s right, what good is a pep talk if parents don’t spend the time helping their child develop a set of skills? Well stated!
8 Anthony // Jan 7, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Thanks for your input. I appreciate the feedback.
-AV
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